Some great adult SMS

3 Choices -

A man wanted 2 get married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wid big tits!



Today in style ...

Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then you my friend will be THE MAN!!



My days ...

I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Every thucking day!

23 useless parts

23 useless parts on a mans body.20 nails u cant hammer.2 balls u cant throw &1 cock that cant "crow".dont laff ladies??UR PUSSY CANT CATCH MICE

Wont go down?

T-MOBILE regrets 2 inform u that the network has gone down on everyone except u.We regret 2 inform u that no one would go down on u.not even a network

Why woman moan?

Why do women have orgasms during sex???It gives them something to moan about even when they are fuc***g enjoyin themselves.

Maths

Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!

Types of arse ...

(_!_)An arse (__!__)Fat arse (!)Tight arse (_?_)Dumb arse (_*_)Sore arse (_zzz_)Tired arse (_E=mc2_)Smart arse (_x_)Kiss my arse!!

Satisfy her/him

HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN: caress excite cuddle fascinate spoil kiss rub tease pamper console worship respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN: blow job

Poem ..

Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over & gave her a bone of his own!

I like your...

I like your style- I like your class- but most of all i like your arse!

Latest Porn Releases

Latest porn releases:shaving private ryan.position impossible.as big as it gets.forest hump.riding miss daisy.starwhores and pornocchio

Sex a 3 letter word!

Why is Sex a 3 letter word? Its easier to spell than... OHMYGODYESNOOSSHITYESDEEPER- YESGODNOPLEASENOSHITYESOH- SHITFU*KNOYESYESYESSHITOH.

Who dares wins :) -

I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!

GOD I'm coming!

A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

What a girl wants?

A girl who opens her hands recieves gifts.who opens her heart recives love.who opens her legs recieves happines

If you were!

if u were a drum id bang u.if u were a pig id pork u.if u were a flower id root u.if u were a nail id screw u.but cos ur a sweetie ill make love 2 u!

How you eat your's?

I want to suck you... I want to lick you... I wanna move my tongue all over you... I want to feel you in my mouth... that's how u... eat an ice cream...

The little thing

1 day there was tis naked man N elephant, da elephant looks at the naked man 4 a few seconds, then ask da naked man, 'HOW CAN U BREATH THRU THAT LITTLE THING?'

Who passes more gas?

Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

Cat & Rooster

A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when theres a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!

Like pizza

Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good

Different types!

There is Hot-sex, Fast-sex, Group-sex, Safe-sex, Leather-sex, Telephone-sex, and for people with your face ...NO SEX !

What you want?

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation when a man puts his location in a woman's destination. Do u get my explanation, or do u need a demonstration?!

SEX is My Fav

SEX is My Fav. I Do it regularly. Do it & Feel Gd! U'll enjoy it! I'll Die w/out SEX, S-Sleep, E-Eat, X-xercise, So do it everiday, gd for u.

Mon & Son -

Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do. MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got my nose in her armpit. Now what?

Do you use phone?

A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex? His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.

Who is strong?

Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A: A woman bcoz she lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2 stones with the help of a crane.

Man & Wife ...

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.

The wish :)

When I was born I got the choice, or a major dick, or a fine memory. I am not able to remember what I did choose.

Guy & Gal

A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What's that? .....He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you dissappear.....

Read Message -

American students say:.....people who never experience good sex and do not perform well in bed, usually read their SMS messages with their right hand.

Rough day ..

Its been a rough day. I got up this morning, put on a shirt N a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off. I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom.

Lassie and me ...

I do not have the muscles of Stallone, I am not as handsome as Brad Pitt, I am not as strong as Schwarzenegger, but I can lick as good as Lassie!!!

Guy & Gal -

GUY: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. GAL: If I see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

The Painting ...

A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn

Under arrest

I hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 69 - distracting public with ur xtreme good looks &sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom

Mobile com

I once had a ONE-2-ONE night with a VIRGIN.She teased me till i got an ERICKSON.sucked me till my face went ORANGE till i busted my load of SEIMEN over her NOKIAS.

The Alien

Hello!Im a little alien called Kan.I have taken the form of a mobile phone- your phone.And during this message I have been having sex with your thumb!

What are they?

Are these your eyes, I found them between my breasts!

When to visit?

If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?

Tease me

Of all the babes ur my selection please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!

Horny ....

Roses are red.voilets are corny.when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!

Poem .. -

Sex is evil and evil's a sin.but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!

Poem ..

Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have a son

Poem ..

Peter Peter Pumpkin eater.had a wife & liked to beat her.smacked her twice around da head. F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!


&


the best for the last...............


In life 5 things come at any time..........
MONEY
FRIENDSHIP
LOVE
DEATH
AND










SUSU.